Guys have a very difficult time getting over their ex, it’s pure fact. I mean, I can’t remember the last guy I was with that didn’t still have some sort of feelings for their last girlfriend (unless they’ve been single for a year or so, which in that case would mean they’ve had adequate time to mourn the loss of their relationship).
With all jokes aside, guys don’t really know how to deal with heartbreak. Y’all tend to over think the ending of the relationship. Y’all tend to spend hours trying to work out your emotions. Y’all tend to stalk her on social media for months on end. And then, when you think you’re all done obsessing over her, you start up again. This typically happens when you start to date another woman, traditionally. Unfortunately, this, in turn, makes it hard to start a new relationship with a new woman.
So, what is it that I’m getting at?
Well, I’m trying to provide a nice introduction so that I can slam you with the topic of the article:
The Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Over Your Ex
You have to do it at some point, guys, so why not do it now.
Check out my harsh, yet valuable, tips below. Then apply them to your life and see how the next few weeks of the post-breakup era goes.
Stop blaming yourself.
If you have to do it, blame yourself once and move on from it. Do not constantly program your mind to think the breakup was your fault and your fault alone, because chances are, it wasn’t your entire fault.
Trust me when I say, you were not too clingy. You were also not too sensitive. And while I’m at it, you were not too jealous. These are all thoughts you have put in your mind, get them out of there.
Remember, a lot of things contribute to the falling out of a relationship, and chances are, these factors do not all point to you. It could have been that the person was not ready for a mature relationship, or it could have been that the timing was wrong, the case is always different.
Change your point of view. Start to think of it in a more positive light and realize that it’s not all your fault at all.
Write your feelings down.
Women are not the only people on this planet that keep a diary. Men do, too. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Write about why it fell apart (on both ends)
- Write about what you think you did wrong and what you think she did wrong
- Write about what you won’t do in the future
Try to write approximately 30 minutes every day until you start to feel better about the situation. Once you’re not blaming yourself anymore, try to convince yourself the positives of the situation. For example, now you may have more freedom than before, now you’re able to go out with the boys on the weekends, etc.
Trust me when I say, writing about the positives will help you feel a lot calmer as well as a lot more confident.
Block your ex. Now.
Social media brings all the negatives out. Let me explain.
Social media gives you the power to see your ex whenever you want (and chances are you’re looking at her while she’s all attractive and ready to go out on a girl’s night out). In turn, this allows you to start thinking about the negatives of your single life. This means you have to BLOCK HER. Not just from Instagram, but from all social media platforms.
While you’re at it, you might want to delete all pictures showing evidence that there was a relationship. If you’re not ready to do this, or if you want to hold on to the memories, use the hide feature that your phone has. This way, you won’t be able to see her while you’re grieving the relationship.
Being outdoors, getting enough natural oxygen, and exposing yourself to the sunlight can really work wonders for your health. Medical professionals even state that doing things outside like going for a hike and climbing a mountain are actions you can take to better your emotional health.
If you’re feeling a little down in the dumps, and if the weather allows it, get yourself outside as soon as possible.
Talk to your buds.
Ask your friends for some advice. Chances are, they already saw the breakup coming before it happened, which means they can give you some solid insight.
Keep in mind, only ask them once or twice for a helping hand; after that, you’ll start to look a little desperate and they’ll probably consider distancing themselves from you.
Remember who you were before the relationship.
Before you became a couple, you had an amazing time. You had your own favorite drinks, your own favorite hangout places, your own favorite hobbies, and your own favorite bands to listen to. So don’t think that everything the two of you liked, or everything the two of you did together, was all you could ever do in life.
Instead, go out and do something you couldn’t do with her, like hunting. Try to focus on hobbies and activities that don’t remind you of her for a while, or at least until you feel better about the breakup.
After some time, open yourself up to dating again.
You can’t shut yourself out of the dating scene for forever, but it will take time to get there. Remember, everyone is different, and there’s no specific time frame for when you should start dating again.
Keep in mind, when you are finally ready to start dating again, do not bring up your ex to your date. This screams, “He’s not over her,” to the new woman.
Lastly, don’t try to be friends with your ex right away.
I hope this tip explains itself.
Hope y’all had fun with this bit of advice!
By Jenny Lyn