Question, answer, question, answer
When it comes to good conversation it’s all about balance. If you find yourself asking all the questions and your counterpart is giving answer after answer, the conversation is on it’s way to boring ville. You should be taking turns asking questions and offering up answers. The whole idea here is to build questions upon what answer is given. For example: “So where are you from?”, “Originally I’m from California, have you been there before?”. Get into the habit of ending your answers with questions and never run out of things to say.
You will most likely fall into one of two camps. You either offer up too much information about yourself or you don’t offer enough. If you don’t reveal enough it could be because you think people will judge you for it. If you reveal too much you might feel like you have something to prove. Know where you stand on this spectrum and adjust how much information you share accordingly. If you ask a lot of questions, chances are you don’t reveal enough. Let people know about new and exciting things in your life. You don’t even need to be asked about it, just start it off with “guess what?….”.
Believe in what you say
If you think what you’re talking about is the coolest thing in the world, everyone else will think so too. Don’t talk about what you think people want to hear, say whatever amuses you in the moment. People will notice and will want to be a part of your world. Having confidence in what you say doesn’t happen over night, but by believing you are the most interesting man in the room, you really will be.
You may find yourself “checking out” while the other person is talking, either because you are bored or are thinking about what you want to say next. Try to use what they are saying as fodder for your next question. This will force you to listen to everything they are saying instead of letting your mind wander. Our attention spans are getting shorter and shorter by the minute. Don’t be a bad listener!
Match their tone
You probably find yourself doing this anyway. People will be more likely to trust you if they see a little bit of themselves in you. The same way that copying body language builds trust, matching vocal tone and attitude will make your partner comfortable with you and want to get to know you better. If they’re somber, be somber If they’re excited, be excited!
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