How to Be an Alpha Male Without Being a Total Jerk
h the alpha male, girls wanna date him, guys wanna be him and other alpha males are scared of him. When you say the word alpha male, an image of a jacked up dude with a smug look on his face will probably pop into your mind. We have this idea that alpha males should be “assholes” and that’s what women want. The good guys always finish last. You don’t wanna be a push over, you wanna be an Alpha. Although it’s true that NICE guys finish last, good guys do not. Here is how to be a good guy while keeping your alpha status high.
1. Practice self-confidence
From this day forward, all validation comes from yourself. You do not need anyone else’s approval to believe you are awesome. When you come across someone who seems to have a lot of confidence what do you usually think of them? You probably think they’re the shit. This isn’t something they’re faking. This isn’t some alpha male attitude they’ve slapped on. It’s 100% pure confidence straight from their inner being. They’ve put you under their spell. When you are in that mind set of true, unwaivering confidence, other people’s opinions don’t even sway you. You react to any outside criticism with ease and indifference. You don’t lash out at them or put on your mean alpha male face. You just laugh and brush it off. If you ever catch yourself getting worked up or thinking “I wonder what they think of me”, replace that thought with an affirmation like “I’m awesome”, “I’m the shit”, “I’m enough”. You probably find yourself attracted to certain people more than others, right? Well this is the secret sauce of the alpha male. Build a positive inner thought process to give you real confidence that will have a lasting effect on your alpha status.
2. Be yourself
Being Alpha isn’t about being rough and tough, it’s about being who you are times 100. What are your best characteristics. If you were a character in a story, how would you describe yourself? Maybe one of your best attributes is that you really care about others. Maybe you’re really funny, maybe you’re a party animal, maybe you’re super geeky or perhaps you are stylish and into fashion. Whatever it is, figure it out and start living in congruence with it. One way to help with this is to write down 3 words that you want people to see you as. So maybe it’s “fun-loving, confident and wise”. Keep those words written in your phone so you will see it everyday, or even post it on your mirror. Remind yourself everyday who you want to be and who you are. Your true self usually comes out naturally anyway when you practice self-confidence as outlined in tip number one.
3. Don’t be so “nice”
There’s a difference between “good guys” and “nice guys”. Nice guys will sacrifice their own happiness and dignity for the benefit of others. Good guys are nice because his cup runneth over. Actions of “niceness” from an alpha male come from a place of “sharing” whereas actions of “niceness” from a beta male come from a place of “leeching”. Has someone ever done something nice for you and it just didn’t feel right? It might have felt like they were doing it because they thought they had to, almost like they wanted your approval. You start seeing them as being “lower status” than you. This is especially clear when someone compliments you and it’s coming from that empty place. When you receive a compliment or a nice gesture and it comes from that place of “fullness” you see them as being higher status than you because they are giving their own positive emotions to you. It feels like they are helping you. How do you start coming from this place of “sharing” positive emotions? You just start having positive emotions. Write down some things you are excited for every morning and at the end of the day write down some things you were happy about that happened. Your life will seem pretty dang awesome and you will start living in a positively charged head space.
4. Be “sure”
Hemming and hawing is now a thing of the past. Being unsure is being stagnant. Not knowing who you are, where you’re going, what you’re doing etc…doesn’t feel good does it? Taking the time to lay these things out will get you used to thinking ahead. You don’t want to do this out of fear. You want to be sure because that’s just what you prefer. If you’re driving somewhere, look on a map so you know how to get there instead of leaving it up to chance. Know your characteristics (as I said in tip #2) so you can let people know who you are when you meet them. Figure things out in advance so you’re “sure”. It makes you feel more confident and gets you some respect.
5. Keep a stable mood
One of the key attributes of an alpha males is control over your emotions. This doesn’t mean you should be happy all the time nor does it mean you should hold back anger or tears. Emotions are reactions, they are something that happen TO you, whereas your mood is something you control. You don’t want to let your emotions run your mood. If something happens that makes you angry, express the anger however you need to and then let it go and move on. People love to hold on to these emotions and they end up running their lives. Always come back to ground zero. The thing is, you can’t come back to your normal, in control, positive self unless you take the time to process the sadness, anger etc. It helps to talk to someone or write out how you feel so you can “get over it”.