You may not even be that into them and maybe you both get off just fine, but hey…it’s something different. You’re experimenting and playing around, that’s all that really matters. A bullet vibrator is great if you’ve never used toys before. Use it on her clit while simultaneously stroking her g- spot (the area right near the opening, behind her navel). Using a vibrator will leave your fingers and tongue more available to do other things like massaging her nipples and fingering which will be a welcomed change and a totally different experience for her.
2. Give her lingerie
Give her some lingerie to wear for your next romp around the bedroom. You can leave it somewhere for her to find before you go to work, she’ll get the hint. Don’t go too “risqué” if she’s never worn lingerie before. She might feel self conscious and not want to do it. Get something classic with just a little bit of “winky wink”. Like a bra with some fine mesh cut outs and a thong. Write a note saying how beautiful she’s going to look in this and how you can’t wait to see her in it. Giving your partner a gift out of nowhere will also re-ignite that romantic spark between you.
There’s more information about sex out there than ever before and you should be researching on a regular basis about the new positions and trends in sex. There’s some really great podcasts out there such as “Savage Love” and “Sex Nerd Sandra by Nerdest”. You might read or hear about something you want to try out that you would have otherwise never heard of. Get your partner involved in the research and send each other links you find interesting or that you might want to try. Make it your new project to try some new things. Maybe tonight it’s edging and then tomorrow it’s sex in the shower. Exciting!
4. Change your location
The whole excitement behind having sex in a place besides the bedroom is the “danger” in getting caught. You don’t have to go all out and have sex in a park in the middle of the day. That will get you arrested…Try having sex in the kitchen or the dining room. If you’re out at a club or a party, why not lock the bathroom door and get busy. This will make sex new again. It’s all about novelty my friends. It keeps us on our toes.
5. Send a text
Sending a dirty text during the day can make sex seem pretty exciting at night. She will be incredibly flattered and will be raring to go when you both get home. Send something like “I’m just dreaming about your naked body right now” or “God I really wanna fuck you right now”. Bringing your sex life into everyday conversation will make both of you more comfortable talking about it in person AND it just feels so naughty to be sexting during your business meeting. It’s like a secret that only the two of you share. It will bring you closer together romantically and sexually.
6. Start talking about your fantasies
Start laying your fantasies out on the table. How can you expect to have a fun and fulfilling sex life if your partner doesn’t know what you like? Having an open conversation about what you maybe want to try and what REALLY turns you on is crucial for a healthy sex life. This can seem a little embarrassing but if you both have time to think about it, it shouldn’t be that hard to talk about. A good time to talk about it is after sex. Don’t talk about it before because it might kill the mood, on the other hand it might heighten the mood depending on how open you both are to these types of conversations. Start by volunteering to talk about your fantasies first and then ask your partner what things or concepts turn them on? You have to remember that some people want to keep fantasies well…a fantasy and have no desire to play them out in real life. However, there are some things that your partner wouldn’t mind playing out and you should find out what those are. Ask what their fantasies are and which ones they would like to maybe “play out”.
7. Go back to basics
Try some “non-penetrative” activities to get the ball rolling again. Get her to lay on her stomach and massage her with some oil. Have an extra long foreplay session and really feel each other’s bodies. It will most likely end in sex, but the goal here is to not rush through the “lead up”. Have a conversation between making out under the covers. Taking it slow will make sex seem spontaneous again. There will come a point when you both will start feeling too hot to not start having sex. The best sex sessions are when both people are turned on to the same level. By giving lots of time for foreplay and warming up, you’re giving her a fighting chance to get to your level of arousal. Sex will eventually happen but it will seem like a beautiful dream because you were both so in the moment.
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