For some people jumping outside their comfort zone or doing spontaneous activities can be challenging due to a person’s personality. Some people possess confident attitudes while others have shy demeanors. Shyness is often viewed as a personality trait that exhibits nervous tendencies or revered behavior. In fact, being shy can prevent a person from becoming who he or she truly wants to be, and therefore, shyness is an obstacle many people face. Although, many people believe shyness fades with age, but instead those that present shy traits work hard to overcome such shyness.

But how does one overcome shyness? Here are nine tips to conquer shyness:

1. Stop labeling yourself

It’s a common practice to label situations, events, and even people in society. With social media platforms it can be easy to call yourself or someone else ‘ugly’ or ‘shy’ based on the subject matter and amount of posts. However, no one can be summed up in just one word or phrase. Everyone has a story to tell, and because of that story, everyone is complex in how they’re perceived. Yes, it’s true that one person might not speak up as much as another person, but there might be a thousand reasons for why that might be. If you feel that you are shy stop criticizing yourself for it just because you learn or communicate in different ways doesn’t make you any less special.

2. Avoid self-sabotaging

Sometimes being shy means thinking inside your head and when that happens, you might find that you think negative thoughts about yourself or others. Overthinking tends to send people into a whirlwind of emotions since a person ponders too much on one particular subject or topic. Since a person sifts through all the possibilities even the negative ones it’s likely that by the end of a particular thought a person will have sabotaged themselves by thinking too much. It’s advised if you want to become more confident in your abilities that you stop second-guessing and avoid overthinking in order to not sabotage yourself in situations and events. Most people don’t realize they sabotage themselves by overthinking; however, it can ruin someone’s mood, attitude towards someone else and start an argument.

3. Understand your skills  

It’s important to know what areas you excel at in order to boost confidence and overcome shyness. Some people make a list of what they’re good at and another list of what they would like to be good at, so they can try to obtain these skills over a period of weeks, months, or years. However, it’s essential for you to understand how much you have to present not only for yourself but for the world. In fact, every individual offers many strengths which can be useful in many areas of study.

4. Select friendships carefully

People who have shy personalities tend to have smaller social circles; however, they have deeper connections with their friends and family. If you have a shy personality, it’s important to choose your relationships wisely, since your choice of in a friend will likely mean more to you. If you choose a friend who uses you, the friendship will likely end in disaster. It’s better to pick a friend who fits with your personality instead of your ego.

5. Stay away from bullies  

There are always people who want to be mean or want to make other people laugh at the expense of someone else. If you know a person that like to bully people, it’s advised that you stay away from their negative attitude. Negativity is poisonous to overthinkers and people who are shy. In fact, most of the time bullies themselves are insecure. While it may be true that you can’t always stay away from bullies there are still precautions you can take from letting them mess with your head. For example, you can memorize a phrase that empowers you or a quote that makes you happy.

6. Observe  

One of the greatest powers of shyness is that people tend to observe. While observing you can uncovering many secrets about other people that they don’t want others to know. For example, just by observing a person one could see if he or she is nervous, excited, or hungry. By observing other people, a shy person benefits by understanding that other people have insecurities and not everyone is perfect. In fact, some people might even learn that they’re not alone.

7. It isn’t as bad as you probably thought

Most people who have a shy personality usually exaggerated their actions in their head as weird or awkward. However, the people in the situation or event probably didn’t find your actions to be funny or uncomfortable at all. Having a shy personality may make you overthink your actions or your words, therefore, leaving you to perceive them as out of place. But just because you said something or did something does not mean it’s out of place it just means you joined in on the conversation.

8. Name your worries

Instead of worrying, some people decide to face their fears head-on. In order to face their fears, some people create a list of their fears and then determine how they would manage it if it would ever happen. Creating such a list ensures that if anything were to go wrong that you were to have a solution in place. For example, if you were to go to a party but no one you knew was there, the solution would be to talk to some people that look nice and approachable, instead of hanging out in a corner alone. Therefore, the list of worries allows individuals to break out of their comfort zone without the events actually happening.

9. Talk about it

Some people benefit from talking to a therapist about their shyness. In fact, talk therapy is a great way to expand confidence and social relationships. There are many techniques therapists use to enhance a client social life. If you have a shy personality, it may benefit you to talk to a therapist.